My life has essentially turned upside down the last few weeks. This was caused in part by this blog; the ideas that I've started in my head of where I want my life to go and what kind of life I want to lead. I took a leap away from the last few years of my life, which is extremely difficult for me.

This blog and this recent life change were both prompted by the subject of happiness -- what happiness is, what would bring me happiness, and how I can position myself to be happier.

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young

Finding out who you are is the hardest, because people so often try to position themselves as something they aren't; position themselves to be who they want to be.

While I'm not exactly sure of whom I am, there are times where I feel completely content; completely happy. And they aren't quantifiable or happen every time in every situation (like someone saying, "I'm happy with my friends.") - it's the feeling, that rare feeling of contentment.

For example, this video: I've watched this video many, many times since I first received it. Not only because the song is great for what I going though (uplifting, sweet), the feeling behind the video makes me happy. Perhaps it's because it deals with dreams, and my own dreams are usually running/jumping/exciting/exploring/seeing/doing/wonderful feeling types of dreams.

There are certain times when I feel this special type of enjoyment in "real life" and it always focuses on the present -- no worrying about the past or the future. Hanging out with friends, late nights, long conversations. Alone in a car, driving fast with loud music (which I've always wanted to experience with another person in the car but never have). Walking in the rain. Reaching the top of a mountain.

Hopefully the choices that I make from now will lead me into more of these experiences and feelings of "perfect contentment". What I do know, that while spending some nights at home "resting" is important, that the last seven years of my life has gone by in a flash without much accomplished and the next seven will do so as well. Changing what path I'm on at the moment will hopefully lead myself in a better direction.

Here's to contentment.